Favorite Mistake
by Kaslyna
Summary: Kathy Stabler knows her marriage is over. It has been for a while, but she's never regretted Elliot. AU, and it's Kathy's thoughts on an imaginary affair between Elliot and Olivia.


**A/N: Song is "My Favorite Mistake" by Sheryl Crow. I came up with this when I couldn't fall back asleep at around 2:30 AM. I'm exhausted so sorry if this is crappy. I only got four hours of sleep. **** So, here goes nothing! This is about an imaginary (AU) affair between Elliot and Olivia and Kathy's point of view on the situation. Kathy is not the devil incarnate so if you don't like her, fuck off and don't read. And no, it's NOT E/K, it's just Kathy's thoughts about Elliot and Olivia and her kids and her marriage.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing; I'm borrowing. SVU is owned by Dick Wolf and NBC; please don't sue!**

_I woke up and called this morning,  
the tone of your voice was a warning  
that you don't care for me anymore.  
_

"What?" Elliot Stabler growls.

"You're not home," his wife mumbles sleepily.

"Tough case," his voice is softer now.

"Oh," she says, not believing him but playing along. "Well, good luck, El. I'll bring you lunch later, okay?"

"Yeah," he sighs, "I'll be home soon. Captain will understand if I have to help you with the kids."

"Thank you," she whispers, sighing and lying on her back, counting the cracks in the ceiling; in her mind, each one represents a crack in her marriage, and that thought makes her nostalgic for the golden days when they were teenagers in love.

_  
I made up the bed we sleep in.  
I looked at the clock when you creep in.  
It's 6 AM and I'm alone.  
_

Elliot comes home about an hour later and kisses his wife. She smiles up at him in a sad, wistful way from where she lies on the bed.

"Sorry," he says, crawling into bed with her and taking her in his arms.

"It's okay, El," she snuggles closer and wishes she hadn't; she smells her all over him, and the smell of sex permeates the seemingly fine couple.

"I'll take care of the twins," Kathy mumbles lamely, getting up and leaving. Elliot stares after her, wondering where every thing had gone from picture-perfect to lying and pretending.

_  
Did you know when you go it's the perfect ending,  
to the bad day I was just beginning.  
When you go, all I know is you're my favorite mistake.  
_

Elliot leaves before Kathy is out of the shower; a limp neon green Post-it on the radio tells her that there has been a break in the case. There is no case, though, and Kathy wishes he would just come out and say it, for God's sake. She's sick of the lies and the deception; she doesn't really care anymore if he's cheating on her, just as long as he admits it to her. Though Elliot Stabler, Kathy's lover, is gone, Elliot Stabler, Kathy's best friend, is still there and she is pained that he can't trust her.

Eli is colicky, Kathleen, who is home for winter break, is asleep and late for work, Dickie is being a brat, Lizzie has had six meltdowns this morning, and Maureen, who is home while she plans her wedding, is throwing another pre-wedding hissy fit that all brides must endure. Kathy sees the rudimentary justice and irony in this situation and hates it so fucking much.

_Your friends act sorry for me.  
They watch you pretend to adore me.  
But I am no fool to this game.  
_

At noon Kathy enters the precinct.

"Where's Elliot?" she asks John Munch casually.

"He's on a call. Should be back soon," he frowns.

"I'm right here," Elliot says, coming up behind her and wrapping his arms around his waist, possessively rather than lovingly, his lips in her hair.

"I have your lunch," Kathy mumbles awkwardly, pulling away and thrusting the paper bag into his hands.

Kathy leaves then, extremely depressed.

_  
Now here comes your secret lover,  
she'll be unlike any other,  
until your guilt goes up in flames.  
_

Kathy bumps into Olivia on her way out. The younger female is tired, hair rumpled and bags under her eyes, and Kathy's heart sinks.

"Hey," Olivia slurs tiredly.

"Oh, hello," Kathy pretends not to notice Olivia's state of being. "I was just on my way out, actually. Still think you can babysit Eli for me Wednesday evening?"

"Yeah, sure," Olivia smiles wearily, "I'll pick him up at seven."

"Thanks," Kathy says, getting into the elevator before Olivia can talk to her.

_  
Did you know when you go it's the perfect ending,  
to the bad day I'd gotten used to spending.  
When you go, all I know is you're my favorite mistake  
You're my favorite mistake.  
_

Kathy spends the day sniffling on her couch. She knows what she has to do and she's upset about it. When Elliot finally gets home at 11:35 PM, Kathy confronts him.

"Elliot, either leave or start telling me the truth," she seethes. "I'm sick of the God damn lies, El. I really don't care if you're fucking her. It's been over between us for a while now, but you're still my best friend and I expect you to trust me, El."

"I'm not…" his voice falters.

"There is no case, El," Kathy laughs wryly. "Now, are you ready to tell me the truth, or would you prefer sleeping at Olivia's, since you've pretty much been doing just that for the past five months. I'm not stupid."

"I'm sorry," he says, "You're right. You're one of my best friends, Kathy, and I should have trusted you, but I didn't, and I'm sorry."

Elliot goes over and hugs Kathy awkwardly, and, voice muffled by her hair, he says, "I'm sorry, Kathy. I'll try harder."

"I'm sorry, too, El," she whispers, tears in her eyes and her voice.

_  
Well maybe nothing lasts forever,  
even when you stay together.  
I don't need forever after, but it's your laughter won't let me go  
so I'm holding on this way.  
Did you know could you tell you were the only one  
that I ever loved?  
Now everything's so wrong. _

Even still, Elliot packs his bags and decides to leave. Kathy tells him he can have the kids on the weekend, that she doesn't really care.

"You're the only person I ever loved, El," she sighs, "But all good things must end, I suppose."

He kisses her forehead, brushes her blond tresses off her face and tells her, a sad smile on his face, "I'll always love you, Kathy. You're the mother of my children, and I'll always be grateful for that."

She watches him drive off sadly, and for the millionth time that day, she wonders where the hell it all went wrong.

_  
Did you see me walking by, did it ever make you cry?  
Now you're my favorite mistake  
Yeah you're my favorite mistake  
You're my favorite mistake_

**End Note: So, what did you think? Please read and review! **

**Peace Out,**

**Madeleine**


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